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Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011

Time:5:40 am.
Mood: exhausted.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, March 21st, 2011

Subject:progress. progress. progress....
Time:6:25 pm.
Mood: accomplished.
SO finally after agonizing, and i mean AGONIZING over what to call my new company, i have FINALLY landed on something that i really like, that encapsulates the concepts and ideas that embody my work, and i've even got a 'tag line' that will appear at the very bottom/end of all my literature for my company...and the tag line is even in latin 'cause i'm one classy broad!

slowly, slowly it's coming together, but while it may be laborious and time consuming, it IS coming together well so far...now i need to find a lawyer to register the name and all that crap-o-la which, of course, i know less than nothing about, and i'm not exactly ripe with lawyer buddies...le sigh.
Comments: Read 4 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, March 17th, 2011

Time:10:59 pm.
Mood: morose.
....and i hate Bowie.

y'know i fear i'm going to have to make some brutally difficult changes, changes i don't actually want to make, changes that are going to make me miserable, at least in the short term...but i'm also miserable now in certain areas so i guess i have to figure out which miserable is the better misery to go with...i do know that i can't beat my head against the wall anymore and i can't imagine any avenue or approach i haven't tried to ensure that i didn't end up in exactly the place where i am now...it's been about 2 years now and life has not stopped kicking my ass, fucking with my head and shredding what's left of my heart...the universe really needs to start cutting me some slack...soon.
Comments: Read 11 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, March 11th, 2011

Subject:home again, home again, jiggity jig...
Time:1:35 pm.
Mood: frustrated.
i despise moving, i despise everything about looking for, finding and moving to a new home...however it's that time again, and i HAVE to find a house to rent, preferably for May 1st...anyone know anything about any houses for rent, semi, townhome, i don't care at all, but the bigger the better...so if you guys know anything about anyone who might be able to help with finding me and the kitten-friends a new home, please please please let me know?

...did i mention how much i hate moving? 'cause in case you were a little fuzzy on it, you know, for the record? because I FRIGGIN' HATE MOVING!!!!!!
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, March 3rd, 2011

Subject:another kitten-friend gone...
Time:11:07 am.
Mood: sad.
R.I.P. Gojira, the little kitty with the huge personality...we only had her a year but she will be sorely missed....so far this year is falling more than a little short of expectations.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, February 11th, 2011

Subject:- insert witty subject line here -
Time:11:45 am.
Mood: accomplished.
despite multiple [PAINFUL] dental surgeries and a nice dose of pneumonia, i've actually managed to make some headway in some areas of my life that have been a source of stress and a barrier to getting done everything that i need to in order to take back my life the way i need to...it's amazing what almost dying and spending almost a year in hospital can do to uproot you and every single plan you've ever made...and while Mike is appealing his ODSP decision [who are now as shifty as insurance companies, trying to discourage legitimate claims by making it as difficult as possible to meet the terms that they don't even disclose to begin with] and i have to wait for that to be settled before we can plan to move back in together, i still have a whole whack'o'crap to take care of on my own including filing all my back tax returns, getting all of my ID replaced and submitting a pile of paperwork to CPP via my insurance company once my accountant gets my taxes settled...i'm a thrill a minute.

HOWEVER, once this is done it's entirely possible that i'll be able to finally start rebuilding my credit which would be nice considering it was trashed by my ex from many years ago...considering that i'm also setting myself up as an independent business this year, i'm allowing myself a little hope that i'll be fully back in control of my finances and that i can put in to practice all the work i've been doing over the last few months...see, while i maintain my dream of setting up a 24 hour arts/music/performance cafe, preferably in Amsterdam, in the meantime i've decided to get back to working in an area that i have had great success and satisfaction in before, in hopes that once i can establish myself here, it'll allow me the financial freedom to follow through on my dream cafe a little later on...

AND that area that i'd like to get back to working in, would be that of counselling, specifically victim/offender reconciliations, at risk youth, victims of violence, art/music therapy and a program that i've put a lot of work in to developing which is an alternative to the 12 step program, one that is secular, but one with room to accommodate religious beliefs if the client is so interested...i'll even provide mediation between my client and their religious group/leader/partner if they so desire it, but it is essential IMO to have the option and not to force a concept of 'god' on anyone, and especially on those who are looking to get back in control of behaviour that is somehow detrimental to their health and/or happiness...in the 12 step program, 7 of the steps specifically mention needing to believe in, and submit to a 'god', and 5 of these same steps insist on the individual not only believing in but embracing their own powerlessness as something to be perpetuated, which is completely counter-intuitive to anyone attempting to gain insight and subsequent control over their behaviours...it's essential to help facilitate empowerment as opposed to perpetuate some sense of powerless victimzation, which is the state which the 12 step programs seeks to maintain its participants, which doesn't sit well with me in the least, nor should it...

SO in addition to working with the club to get promotions going for my DJ night, i've got a fairly ambitious few months ahead of me...now if i could avoid anymore bouts of pneumonia and see if i can keep my teeth from conspiring toward painful revolution, then maybe, just maybe by the time spring comes i'll have some semblance of control back over my life and where it's headed...a girl can dream.
Comments: Read 4 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, February 3rd, 2011

Subject:2 more for the tooth fairy....
Time:5:52 pm.
Mood: cranky.
went in today to have some of my most urgent work done at the dentist but i guess the most pressing issues that she could address completely today was to pull my upper 2 wisdom teeth and suture the gums closed...which, don't get me wrong, i'm very glad to be rid of, but i wasn't really prepared for such an invasive procedure, so i'm feeling pretty wiped-out and very sore atm...i'd never had to get injections in to the roof of my mouth/palate before though, and those were single-handedly, without any exaggeration whatsoever, THE. MOST. PAINFUL. NEEDLES. i have EVER had...the dentist explained that because there is very little tissue between the bone and the mouth, and what is there is attached incredibly tightly and densely to the bone of the roof of the mouth...so when freezing is injected there, like today, in order to make room for the liquid being forced in to such tightly connected tissue, this force of pushing the liquid in to such a place makes the tissue tear or rip away from the bone to varying degrees in order to accommodating the incoming liquid freezing goo, which then slowly is absorbed in to that part of the mouth...but the pain, i cannot stress this enough, and on top of it all this odd crunching sound with the pressure and *shudder* GAH! i have no words for it beyond that.

my dentist did also take a look at x-rays and photos from my previous dentist, and after examining them and the images taken after my stay in hospital she said she felt stronger than ever that i should seek out a lawyer and sue them for neglect which she says is clearly evidenced by the comparable x-rays and photos and the degree and variety of damage done in a relatively short period of time...she said she would write out a report and back me in court, and even encouraged me to contact the medical board to report the hospital staff for neglect, which, considering the atrocities they perpetrated while i was with them, is not a difficult decision to make...and while i am not remotely litigious, it's the only avenue left for me in this matter so now i just have to find a good lawyer who is willing and able to take on a hospital, so if any of you guys have any suggestions please let me know!

i'm going to go pout and curl up in a ball covered in fleece...st00pid teeth *le sigh*
Comments: Add Your Own.

Saturday, January 29th, 2011

Time:5:29 pm.
Mood: amused.
in case you need a chuckle or you've got some time to waste, this even rivals engrish.com for good juvenile humour *grin*
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, January 27th, 2011

Subject:small amusements...
Time:2:32 pm.
Mood: amused.
not that many people i know even ready this anymore, but some of my fairly old friends may realize why FaceBook constantly suggesting i 'friend' Bill Leeb is hiiiilarious to me....

the end.
Comments: Read 10 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, January 26th, 2011

Subject:Le Grand Suck
Time:3:30 pm.
Mood: sore.
my time unconscious and paralyzed, first in the ICU and then later in the 'halo' [metal frame literally screwed in to my skull through my skin] as well as the neck brace means when i was in hospital for the first few months after i shattered my neck they didn't brush my teeth ONCE which MEANS my teeth now SUCK MOST HEARTILY...i need sooo much work done; root canals and fillings...the pain is brutal, the cost worse, even with insurance since i'll be eating up my dental allowance for the year in a month i'm sure...LE GRAND SUCK!
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Saturday, November 27th, 2010

Subject:random thoughts...
Time:12:31 pm.
Mood: sore.
violent crime rates in the US just amaze me....for instance, in Detroit that is right across the bridge from Canada and has about the same population as Ottawa, their murder rate as of their 2008 statistics is 40.8 reported cases of homicide for every 100 000 people which makes it just under 400 murders a year, hundreds?! [then again there isn't one grocery store inside the official city limits of Detroit either, but that's a whole other part of the greater issues at work]....Ottawa, a mere 45 minutes from the bridge to the US with a comparable population size for the same year has a homicide rate of about 1.4 for every 100 000 people which makes Ottawa's number of homicides for that same year as measured in Detroit at around 12 homicides annually which is actually a little higher than the norm which tends to hover between 8-12 homicides per year...and what a drama it is in the news those times when we do break 10 murders in one year in this city...

i have a variety of sources for other years that i collected when researching at university, but i wanted newer data [although the disparity is always vast, that hasn't changed] so i took the official census data for each city as my basic information...please, because you love me, always deconstruct your stats when someone [esp. online!] is stating 'facts' because i am amazed at how much authority people give others who present themselves online! imagine if some stranger approached you in the street claiming to be an Arabian prince in exile but if you give him $1000 cash he'll be right back with even more money from the bank, just wait there! some of the same people who say that this is ridiculous and they'd never do it, are however somehow suckered in online, which i so totally don't get....but, i'm babbling and i digress...back to what i wanted to say about stats:

...for instance, "crime" statistics do NOT reflect actual criminal activity, it instead reflects police responses/activities... example: there is a push to get people to come forward and report previously hidden crimes like partner abuse or familial rape that kind of thing, so there will be an increase in reporting of these crimes following a PSA or public education drive, but looking at just the stats without their context would make these crimes appear to spike or jump drastically, when in fact it's the reporting that has increased....so never trust a statistic on the first date ;)
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, May 18th, 2010

Subject:...on legs like Bambi
Time:2:31 am.
Mood: cold.
TONIGHT @ Zaphod's will mark my cautiously triumphant return to the DJ booth!!

AND we're lucky enough to also have the band 'iVardensphere' playing live for us, for a pay-what-you-can show no less!!

SO...please come?

*listen to iVardensphere
Comments: Read 4 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, February 19th, 2010

Subject:my lamest b-day get-together ever, w0000!
Time:8:19 pm.
Mood: accomplished.
ok so this will qualify as my lamest one-year-closer-to-death day get-together EVER, but as much as i'd like to pretend like i don't have birthdays anymore, i'd love to see some friends and share in some of my favourite films on a large screen, even if we have to hang out in a damned hospital!

SO here are the details:

WHEN? Thurs. Feb. 25th 5pm-11pm

WTF? an evening of popcorn, pop [please try to bring some form of snack or beverage to share] and 3 of my all-time absolute favourite movies played on a large screen so i can pretend i'm not stuck in the hospital for one night :) the 3 movies that will be played are [IN ORDER]:

FIRST: Godzilla vs. Monster Zero [dubbed because it's just so much more fun this way] movie trailer

SECOND: Lady Snowblood [subtitled] a rare female Samurai story which Tarantino used as a basis for Kill Bill even lifting the music and scenes from movie trailer

THIRD: True Romance [unedited director's cut] directed by Tony Scott, based on a script by Tarantino and starring so many awesome people it's retarded, but the trailers suck and give too much away so just take a look at this cast!! also this is the most romantic movie i have ever seen, but don't be afraid, remember who this is coming from ;)

WHERE? [Spinal] Rehab Center @ the General Hospital - 'ward B' [2nd fl] Conference Room 'C' - my room is #2113, ph# 613 737 7350 ext# 75019 [which i share with my roomate who is a total white trash irritating douche btw] the center is around back of CHEO and the 16 bus goes to the doors however parking can be expensive BUT violetnun in her awesomeness has offered to play taxi if arrangements are made beforehand OR play shuttle and pick people up from the slightly further away free parking areas like the residential streets nearby! email her: zannerat[at]gmail[dot]com to make taxi/shuttle arrangements :)

so if you can come, please do...
Comments: Read 9 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, February 15th, 2010

Time:2:37 am.
Mood: drained.
what seems so obvious to me is so foreign to everyone else....i must be some kind of alien but i've misplaced the mothership and all i want is to do is go home.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, February 11th, 2010

Subject:it lives!
Time:1:52 am.
Mood: quixotic.
so after 2 weeks in ICU and 6 weeks on the post-surgery ward i'm now in the [spinal] rehab center at the General [oh so much better than the Civic aka hell hospital] and am working at getting my legs working again...it's a long, painful road.

i know that so many people have jumped ship to FaceBook aka 'crackBook' but it isn't designed for any real posts or deep thoughts or feelings of any kind really...so i plan on posting here about what's going on et. al. i am halfway through a huge post of links/stories that i've found interesting recently, a few i've shared via FB already but most that i haven't posted anywhere yet...

SO i'll get back to finishing up the posts for here [and watching Fringe as well as a newly discovered older show called 'Miracles'] and i should have at least one done, the one w/the links, in a day or so.

ALSO i can't say thanks enough to everyone who have come so far to visit me in the hospital...i'll post my new room number etc. shortly!
Comments: Read 4 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, December 15th, 2009

Subject:DJ DOWN!
Time:4:42 am.
Greetings all,

I'm writing on behalf of DJ Leslie (this is her roommate, Suzanne) and she'd like to pass on some info for everyone...

Leslie has been struggling with some pinched nerves and extreme muscle pain recently. Unfortunately, last week her back and neck pain progressed to the point where she was taken to hospital and underwent two surgeries. She's currently doing well and waiting for a bed to open up so she can move from ICU - but her recovery is going to be long term (months).

While this obviously means she won't be able to DJ at the club over the next few months - DON'T PANIC! Jairus, Phil and Devin will be stepping up to keep the night going. She would like to let everyone know that her entire music library will be available every week - so any requests you may have can still be played - and you can expect to hear new music and old favourites alike.

Please continue to come out and enjoy the night, support your DJs and hear lots of great music!

If you'd like to send a message for Leslie, please leave one here and I'll print them up to take to her. If you'd like to visit once she's out of ICU and in a room, please contact me at zannerat at gmail dot com for details.

Thanks everyone - hopefully Leslie will be up and spinning as soon as possible, but for now she would really love to see Jairus, Phil and Devin supported in all they're doing to keep the night going until she can get back.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Saturday, November 14th, 2009

Time:8:46 am.
Mood: sore.
as i continue to ride out this incredibly lengthy, debilitating, irritating and INCREDIBLY painful set of injuries, i just had to struggle to the PC today to share something interesting...

the most unusual version of Winnie the Pooh or Vinnie Puh [part 1] i've ever seen...
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, September 30th, 2009

Subject:the case of the dis-ta-peared DJ!
Time:6:48 pm.
Mood: sore.
hey sorry for not returning messages or being remotely reachable the last week and a half...in my usual luck-o-leslie, 2 weeks ago i managed to tear some some ligaments in my right hand, making it useless and thumb and forefingers were in excruciating pain...and i thought that was bad until, only a few days later, i had an accident with my back resulting in the worst pain i have EVER been in for a week and a half, further complicated by my right hand issues...sadly when my back first went out, it was from shoulder blades to top of the neck, including multiple pinched nerves [meaning loads of pain and immobility on my left side mostly], a couple partially slipped discs and massive intensive spasming lasting for a day or so at first then hours at a time, not to mention all the related pain and muscle issues, no ability to turn the head, blah blah but the basic idea is one issue after the other of some of the worst pain and discomfort i've EVER been in...

of course i have other chronic health/pain issues so that just made things worse resulting in me throwing up pretty constantly for a week, insomnia for the entire time, with a lucky day being one where i can fall asleep for 2 hours sitting up supported...most days i was not that lucky...so i'm also utterly exhausted a week in to this hell...

SO when the tension starts releasing you'd think, YAY! right? yeah me too until my back went NUTS as the discs moved back in to place...the tension has to leave by the top [neck] or bottom [tailbone], traveling the same path, passing over pinched nerves, causing spasms etc. on its way out just like on its way in...yay...THEN some of it went 'down' and got caught up in my lower back resulting in MORE pinched nerves, including not one but BOTH sciatic nerves!! so now i can't even walk at times, let alone get in ANY position EVER that isn't EXTREMELY painful...i almost ended up in hospital in traction but thankfully i was able to attack the spasms etc. with a bunch of different approaches and it's just now begun to start to loosen, nerves slowly releasing....

and there's SO much more crap, all over the last week and a half...but after all this, after this CONSTANT NEVER CAN ESCAPE FOR A MOMENT EXTREME PAIN i've realized that despite my life-long chronic health and pain issues, despite my 'colourful' life growing up and getting in to some pretty hairy situations sometimes resulting in some pretty heavy injuries, despite all of that, the last week and a half has been the WORST PAIN I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE...friends who know me know that is a very big statement for me to make, and i don't make it lightly...

so please, sorry for dropping out of touch with everyone abruptly and not returning messages but it was just THAT bad...
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Saturday, August 15th, 2009

Subject:looking for work?
Time:1:42 am.
Mood: sleepy.

my pretty awesome work is going to be hiring for a position or 2 on our leveraged technical helpdesk, bilingual essential...it's all peer to peer and monitoring large, critical networks, applications and mainframes; it is NOT a call center [the most other people i EVER work with, at the highest peak of daytime business is at most maybe 7? but usually it's only one other person since i don't work usual daytime shifts] and we don't have any scripts or 'talk times' or heavy browsing/download restrictions or any crap like that, we watch stuff at our desks that we can bring in or we can stream/download to our desks so long as it's after the daytime starts quieting down [after 3pm or so] although quiet days we can even get away with some serious slacking off most times as well...we're not crazy busy though, even during the daytime shifts [it's never just call after call after call] and my supervisor and manager are the best ones i've ever had; i've been here for over 6 years so...i won't even get in to 'napping' on the overnights ;)

it's at the SunLife towers [the 2 towers @ 50 O'Connor & 99 Bank St.] w/that gorgeous atrium in the glass enclosure linking the 2 highrises, the one with the waterfall surrounded by trees and flowers inside? yeah that one [it's an awesome building to work in, especially after hours] with the YMCA health club in the basement...SO if you're interested you can leave a reply here but no matter what i'd need you to email your CV/resumé to me to forward so if it's ready to go you can just go ahead and send to me via email: djleslie[at]gmail[dot]com :) the only drawback, of course, is then you'd have to work with moi! dun dun DUUUUNNNN!!!
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, August 12th, 2009

Subject:like anyone's surprised?
Time:9:57 pm.
Mood: bored.
Which Extremist Are You?
Your Result: Anarchist

Your political views most closely match that of an anarchist. Anarchists see government as having a negative influence, or otherwise believe that we'd be better off without it, and thusly reccomend a lack of such things. If you are not an actual anarchist, than you probably exhibit such related qualities as a general mistrust of authority and/or faith in the abilities of common people.

Extremely Dull
Corporate Conspirer
Which Extremist Are You?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

LiveJournal for Hiro Protagonist.

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View:Website (my flickr site).
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